Monday, 4 February 2019

My Monstrous Valentine - Episode One: Before Midnight on the Third Day...

Welcome, one and all, to the Monster Mansion! Over the next three days, all seven of our contestants have the chance to woo our werewolf bachelor: whoever has built up least of a relationship with him by the third midnight will be eliminated!

From the get-go, it seems the card table is the favoured form of entertainment in the mansion. The girls spend a good couple of hours gambling, gossiping and getting to know each other - which is great, and all, except our bachelor isn't with them! 

You ladies do understand the point of this contest, right? Do you want a car - oh, yeah, and true love or something - or not?

Let's check on the kitchen...

Well, looky here! As they enjoy their luxury breakfast pastries (yes, Ms. Producer, I know - no brand names!), it seems Zara has actually got her head in the game, and is building up quite the friendship with Wesley! This early lead might prove very beneficial later on!

With his tummy full, Wesley also decides that the card table will offer the most fun, and settles down for a friendly game. Zara joins him, but right away, her strong position comes under threat: Poppy is still at the table, and that time practising her poker face has helped. She stealthily chats away to Wesley, without raising Zara's suspicions


It's certainly a good effort on the Plantsim's part, but it doesn't change the fact that our zombie beauty now seems very comfortable in the werewolf's company.

You know who we haven't really seen so far? Viola. Maybe we should have a look for her in our cameras.

Oh... fluffcookies. 

(Yes, Ms. Producer - no swearing, either! See? I've got this!)

Well, this was unexpected.

It seems Sims 2 vampires aren't quite as robust as their Sims 4 counterparts. Given that I am not allowed to interfere directly in the contestant's lives, there was sadly nothing I could do to prevent this tragedy. 

Viola chose to burn to death in sunlight, and ipso facto, becomes our first eliminated contestant. 

I just checked our game clock.
It's only been five hours, people. FIVE. HOURS.

I hope Viola didn't take one look at Wesley and decide that was the more favourable option. Vampires and werewolves are traditionally enemies, I suppose. Still, to do that rather than face a day or two of dating our bachelor. Geez, that can't be good for a man's self-esteem.

Thankfully, Wesley seems unfazed by it. With nightfall came his first lunar transformation, and being unable to hunt temporarily, he satisfied his wolfish hunger with... spaghetti and meatballs.

By the sound of Ms. Producer's irate phone call, our elimination taxi refuses to carry mortal remains - so I guess Viola will be sticking around for some time.

I think it's been a bit of a tough first day for everyone.

Wesley decides to unwind with a bath... which means the mansion will stink of wet dog for a while.

Winona is the first to bed, taking a chance on the Murphy. Thankfully, she survives.

Heather decides it's not worth the risk, and settles down for the night in the bed intended for our bachelor. Again, he doesn't seem to mind - Wesley must be the kind of guy who rolls with the punches.

Let's see what Day Two brings!


Well, this is a good start.

As Winona boogies to the radio in her underwear, Zara clearly forgets we have a shower room, and begins her day with a sink strip wash. 

(Your dishes get washed in there... you do know that?)

Poppy, with a desperate need for sunlight, decides to fish in the garden pond - tripping over her own feet in the process.

Wesley, it seems, also isn't taking this competition very seriously. Instead of bonding with our beautiful girls, he spends the entire morning relaxing in the hot tub - alone. Perhaps the events of last night affected him more than we realised.

Oh, goodness me... this isn't another accident waiting to happen, is it?

Oh, thanks heavens it isn't. Sarah isn't that stupid - she's just asking Wesley what he would like for dinner. Perhaps she believes in the old adage that the way to a man's heart is through his stomach.

Wait, what's happening through the window behind them?

Ladies, listen... whilst I appreciate the effort you're putting in to this rather unconventional new tactic, it's not really going to work if our bachelor in question isn't around to see it. I mean - Ms. Producer, can we even show this on air?

Wait, we can?

Huh. It's weird what you TV networks are liberal about.

Still, in Heather's case, I suppose Terry Jones has already taken that a step further.

A little while later, Sarah serves up a stunning roast chicken. She really is a natural cook. Even Poppy is impressed.

And so, it's time to gather around the table for a friendly, traditional dinner.

From the state of poor Alina, I reckon dessert will be followed by bedtime.


Day Three is pretty much uneventful. As the ladies fight over the card table again (OK, Ms. Producer, we need to do something about that - rules be darned!"), Wesley is once more left to his own devices. Being a fitness fanatic, he decides to spend the day in the Mansion's gym suite... only not in the way I quite expected.

(What follows is, quite possibly, the best screenshot I've ever had in a Sims game.)

Ballet and the Beast, eh? Maybe you need to show that sensitive and artistic side of yours to the ladies, Wesley!

However, midnight also brings our first proper eviction! And the contest with the lowest relationship score to our bachelor is...

Winona! Our witch's chances of winning have melted away! 

Time for you to say your goodbyes and pack up your things. No need to mount your broomstick, though... our Elimination Taxi is already on its way to pick you up!

So, as Winona rides off into the night, five contestants remain! 

Let's just hope the pressure doesn't get to anybody.

Oh boy. This is going to be a long week.

Tune in next time for more Beastly Bachelor: My Monstrous Valentine!

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